In with the old, out with the new. We have all heard the opposite of this for years and years, as a suggestion to put things behind us. And for years and years, it has not worked. This year approaching, or better yet…this very moment, may I suggest that you breathe in the old energy, be it heavy or dark, and breathe out new energy that is light and refreshing? For years I have witnessed many people, including myself, block, suppress, and deny what is or what has been. What I have discovered in this human natural process of pushing away pain, or attempting to block pain, is that in doing so, it only weakens you. And in this weakness, which carries many variables, it ultimately makes you less capable of passion and love.
So what do I mean when I say in with the old, out with the new? I mean that embracing what is, and practicing releasing it. Breathing in the suffering, and breathing out the joy, or relief. You begin by making friends with your own energy. People toss around the words positive and negative energy, suggesting that negative energy is, well, bad. And it is even suggested that we run from it. Put it out of our minds and all will be okay. That is just not the case. Somewhere down the road on your path to bliss, the negative energy that you swept under the carpet surfaces when you get triggered by this or that, he or she, one experience or another. The truth is, these triggers which bring out the negative energy can become your seed to virtue. In fact they are your seed to virtue. A Tonglen slogan is “3 Objects, 3 Poisons, 3 Seeds of Virtue”. This slogan is meant to teach us that the 3 objects become 3 poisons, which become 3 seeds of virtue if you allow it. The three poisons the slogan discusses are poison of aggression (aversion, violent behavior, etc) poison of addiction (strong wanting where it is crippling, strong craving,etc), and poison of indifference (ignorance, shutting down, denial, coldness,etc). So how can they become seeds of virtue? When you make friends with your own negative energy, or that negative energy which you encounter, you let the story go...and the rights and wrongs. Allow yourself to move closer to what it feels like in your body. You will create a space where anything can happen and anything can arise, without judging it. Make friends with the energy of it, which is very powerful. It is using the negative energy in a positively transforming and powerful way. This is very hard to do, but is extremely transforming. Mindfulness awareness is a practice of ‘no more struggle’. Aren’t you tired of struggle? Isn’t it time that you learned how to use the power from that negative energy as your path to awakening? As your good medicine for the soul?
I always talk about letting go of the ego, and dis-identifying with the ego and coming into the power that comes from now. A state of being. In this same light, Buddha calls this ego clinging, or ego grasping. You put up walls to protect yourself from pain. But these walls will surely weaken you. You will become more afraid. Less flexible, and less open to life. The amount of terrors become greater than lesser. Again, you will be less capable of passion and love. Although you may initially feel secure and safe behind these walls, eventually, everything that you allow in temporarily, you become paranoid with, and everything outside these walls you become threatened by. Instead use these pains as a threshold into an awakening. Think bigger. Compassion is an openness to pain. Compassion is a heart connection that can alleviate pain. Compassion connects with pain. If you do not make friends with your pain, you cannot feel real compassion and you cannot send real compassion to others.
Use those negative energies of aggression, dislikes, fears, loneliness, cravings, addictions, pride and jealousy as a path to your awakening. Take all that it has to offer as good medicine to the soul, instead of allowing it to escalate into more pain and suffering. Breathe in the dark, for a moment, make friends with the energy of it, and breathe out the joy and relief of it. In with the old, out with the new.
What you will find in practicing this, is that as you awaken and grow and find that spaciousness around each experience, and around each negative poison, that spaciousness will spill over to others in life in a universal way. You will understand compassion. You will know that every being, including animals, and a mere stone…shares pain, and this shared humanity is what true compassion is.
I would love to hear from you with any guidance or help in any areas of your life. Please contact me.
With Unconditional love,
~Lily